WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
