Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
