I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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