I just saw a hot homeless man
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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