Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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