I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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