I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
