Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
