I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You have to summon your inner elephant
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
