so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
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Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize