she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
