I wanna bring you to show and tell
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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