Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
