My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
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Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
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All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize