I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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