Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
