"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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