There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize