Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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