Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
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So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize