JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize