worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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