I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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