I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
