Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
