Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
whose parrot is this?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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