im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
