butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
