bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
