don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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