yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I got her a Nickelback box set.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
