he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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