Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
