question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
