When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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