Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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