it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
