So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.