I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My life is pants optional.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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