Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.