we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We got so high we made milksteak
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...