Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
