He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
