He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
last night I used snow as a chaser
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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