I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
