STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I know her cup size but not her name....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
