btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
