At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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