I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
