how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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