Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
