Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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