that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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