I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
