We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
