My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
