things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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