Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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