I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
