Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
