New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
