Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
