i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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