bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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